My 84,000-word novel, DREAM WISHER, tells the story of Ethyder, a young boy living in the enslaved underground city of Eradome, who struggles with an inability to dream that could cost him his life. As is the case with much of fantasy literature, too many proper nouns! Cut the name of the city. Also, why could not dreaming cost him his life? You move on before addressing something that would confuse most readers. After losing his mother, Ethyder becomes an orphan and is now charged with taking care of his younger sister
DREAM WISHER fits in well with your interest in representing young adult novels. Readers, especially young adults suffering from peer pressure and bullying, will take interest in Ethyder’s story as it explores the self-hatred and the need for acceptance that youth are faced with today, a commonality amongst us all, and a theme I have fought to understand my entire life. Careful here, you sound a bit preachy. YA writers have to walk a fine line between reaching their audience and preaching to them. I'd tone this down a bit.
I am currently a member of the PNWA and SCBWI. Awesome!
Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to an opportunity to share the full manuscript with you.
Brad W. Miller
Brad, I think with some specific details and a little more moment-to-moment action of the story, you'll have a killer query. Thanks for submitting! ;)
PS-- Anyone who wants to enter #pitchslap just needs to send me their query. Email minavaughnwrites at gmail dot com to enter.